Thursday, December 9, 2010

Finals Blues

As a college student, I am entering the dreaded period of time known as 'Reading Week.'  My last day of classes is on Monday, and my first final falls on the same day.  I have a revised 10 page paper due on Monday.  I have a text study due on the 20th, but the sooner I get it to the professor, the more easily it will be graded.  I have a week to catch up on all of the work I didn't do all semester, to learn all of the concepts I never could understand, to clean my room and knit my presents and start my diet and somehow remember to bathe.  I am completely overwhelmed by stress.  

My knitting, which usually calms me, has recently lost that quality.  I am simply not enjoying knitting.  I know that this concept is very hard to comprehend for most knitters- and it's even hard for me to believe that I am gaining no pleasure from this usually wonderful craft.  How is it that I have lost it's joy?

I think that I might have been spending too much time putting pressure on myself to finish presents for everyone on top of all of my schoolwork, placing overwhelming deadlines on top of my already crazy schedule.  Knitting a beret for every woman in my family, dishcloth sets for cousins, hats and stuffed animals for my brothers, a sweater for myself- looking at the list, not only did I plan to have multiple gifts for each family member, but I was making things for people who didn't even expect me to get them everything.  I remember the Yarn Harlot once saying that she forgets that gifts exist which are not knitted, and I think I need to remind myself of that same fact.  There is a beautiful stand at my farmers' market which sells hand made goat milk soap, which I think I might take a look at on Sunday.

I got home tonight, exhausted after too little sleep and too many commitments, and decided to pick up an Entrelac Blanket I've been working on every so often when I get a chance.

The blanket is made up of bits and pieces, scraps of yarn I'm able to pick up for free at work.  Each square has been taking about one skein of chunky yarn.  I really want this blanket to be gritty and rustic.  I'm not planning out the colors at all- as soon as I finish a square, I grab the next yarn that strikes my fancy.  I want something thick and warm- a heavy-duty knit.  The blanket is only about three entrelac rows in, and already it is totally unrealistic to bring this out of the house.  But I'm loving it and I hope it turns out exactly how I imagine it will- huge and warm, muted and rustic, gritty and mismatched, but handsome in its imperfections.

Tonight at Knit Night at our local Starbucks, Abby showed us her WIP, and told us it was 'potato chip knitting,' in that she never can wait to get to the next section.  That's exactly how I feel about this entrelac blanket- working on each square is so exciting.  I love the different thicknesses of the yarns and can never wait to see how my next color will add to the patchwork look of the thing.

I hate to write about such a stressful, crazy time in my year, but I am counting down the days until the next two weeks are over.  Hopefully then I will get back into my knitting groove and will enjoy not only knitting but everything else more than I can right now.

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